My Internal daily battle of who I am

I'm a loving mother, wife, friend, cousin, niece, aunt. I believe in god, I am spiritual but Im also a sensitive or an intuitive. These gifts are a gift from god. It helps me understand others. Basically I sense others feeling and emotions. I hid this because I don't want people not to like me. But in the end I wasn't liking myself and what is most important is I like myself and hiding who I am, well isn't liking myself or loving myself. I know part of my gaining weight is to have a protective layer to hide behind. I've had other traumas from my childhood that I use the weight to hide behind too. And it's time to strip away the layers.


I've had dreams over the years that have eventually come true. My dad has visited me and so has my uncle. Dad has even warned me about another uncle then later my mom tells me he has to have surgery on an artery. These things have happened all my life. I'm finally paying attention, listening and loving myself.


I know some people will accept and love me no matter who I am or what I believe. There will be others who will struggle and then in the end accept and love me and there will be others who will no longer want to be around me or try and change me. Don't try because I bet you wouldn't want me to change who you are. Losing these loved ones does scare me but a true loved one will always be there.


I have a wonderful hubby! He's been there every step of the way pushing me to find who I am, accept who I am and love who I am. He loves me for me and I love him so much for not making me be who he wants me to be or what others expect me to be. Many probably are going to be shocked about this. Cause some have an image of him being the perfect religious person, he believes in god, yes.. But he believes in so much more too and is just an amazing person when you get to know who he really is and not just an image. I just love talking to him about everything. He is my soul-mate and my best friend and marrying him was the best thing in my life.. cause if i didn't marry him i wouldn't have the best kids in my life.


I feel so naked finally coming out from my protective layer, I feel vulnerable and tears are rolling down my face. But it is time I've hidden long enough. This is me no different then the girl you met. You just now know the whole me and I hope you love her just as much as I do. Cause she is pretty super.


love micki michelle