Impeccable Word

I have an impeccable word when it comes to my friends and family.  I've been thinking this morning do I have an impeccable word with myself.  I don't!   I say I'm going to do something for me and I never follow through.  Do I not deserve my impeccable word?  I DO!  So why don't I follow through?  I don't know.  This is something i'm going to have to work on during 2012.

It's time to be true to myself just as much as I am to my friends and family.  Maybe this is what they mean about always putting others first and not yourself.  I told myself for every holiday movie I watch I will do 10 mind of exercise while watching.  I've done that once.  I tell myself I'm going to lose this weight, but I don't.   I say I'm going to keep a clean house then I slack.  I don't keep my promises to myself.  Now how to learn to do this.  I deserve it!

How to do this?  First I need to sit down and write down what I want and then think about how i'm going to get there.  I know there will be times that life will vary and I will have to be flexible in getting to my goals.  I can do this!

I need to remember this.

Girls Jamming "death of the ghosts"

On some Thursday nights I take a class and the girls get daddy time.  When I got home from class this past Thursday night, the girls are really excited, daddy had recorded them playing and singing.  He pulled out his mics, he set up his program that records his music on the computer and the girls banged away on the guitar and sang.. (A) likes to make up lyrics and that is what she is doing this time. 


The first one is Chloe and Amber playing and singing together. The second is a recording of Chloe's guitar parts and then Amber recorded 2 seperate tracks of her vocals, then we played them all back at once for fun!!!  The Mash up.  
 enjoy.....

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Turning 40 next month

My goal before turning 40 was getting below 200 lbs.. This did not happen.  But other things have happened on my weight loss journey.  I have found who I am, for me this is an amazing feeling.  I have also gotten stronger.  I hired a trainer earlier this year and even though I didn't lose much weight.  I got stronger, my core got stronger.  I feel more confident.  I feel much free'er.  I can't really say I didn't reach my goal, because the things I did reach are so fantastic and I feel are steps I had to reach before reaching my goal.  

My Internal daily battle of who I am

I'm a loving mother, wife, friend, cousin, niece, aunt. I believe in god, I am spiritual but Im also a sensitive or an intuitive. These gifts are a gift from god. It helps me understand others. Basically I sense others feeling and emotions. I hid this because I don't want people not to like me. But in the end I wasn't liking myself and what is most important is I like myself and hiding who I am, well isn't liking myself or loving myself. I know part of my gaining weight is to have a protective layer to hide behind. I've had other traumas from my childhood that I use the weight to hide behind too. And it's time to strip away the layers.


I've had dreams over the years that have eventually come true. My dad has visited me and so has my uncle. Dad has even warned me about another uncle then later my mom tells me he has to have surgery on an artery. These things have happened all my life. I'm finally paying attention, listening and loving myself.


I know some people will accept and love me no matter who I am or what I believe. There will be others who will struggle and then in the end accept and love me and there will be others who will no longer want to be around me or try and change me. Don't try because I bet you wouldn't want me to change who you are. Losing these loved ones does scare me but a true loved one will always be there.


I have a wonderful hubby! He's been there every step of the way pushing me to find who I am, accept who I am and love who I am. He loves me for me and I love him so much for not making me be who he wants me to be or what others expect me to be. Many probably are going to be shocked about this. Cause some have an image of him being the perfect religious person, he believes in god, yes.. But he believes in so much more too and is just an amazing person when you get to know who he really is and not just an image. I just love talking to him about everything. He is my soul-mate and my best friend and marrying him was the best thing in my life.. cause if i didn't marry him i wouldn't have the best kids in my life.


I feel so naked finally coming out from my protective layer, I feel vulnerable and tears are rolling down my face. But it is time I've hidden long enough. This is me no different then the girl you met. You just now know the whole me and I hope you love her just as much as I do. Cause she is pretty super.


love micki michelle

At the beginning of the year I created a list of goals and my promise to myself was to review them each month to make sure I succeed in reaching my goals.  I have not done this, this is the first time all year I've looked at my goals.  So here it goes:

The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get." - Jim Rohn

Something to remember over the year; is to remember "The Four Agreements":  [1] Be impeccable with your word; [2] Don't take anything personally; [3] Don't make assumptions; [4] Always do your best.

Healthy and Fitness Goals:

1. I will lose even more weight in 2011.  I will get to my first big goal of under 200 lbs and then set my next big goal when I reach my first goal. I will use baby steps, weights, cardio, and pushing myself to get there.  REALLY STRUGGLING WITH THIS
2. I will work out 5 days a week for at least 20-30 mins.  WAS DOING THIS THEN GOT PHYSICALLY SICK
3. I will eat 5+ freggies a day and track them on sparkpeople.  DEF DO THIS
4. By the end of the year I will be walking no less than 10,000 steps everyday.  LUCKY I GET 5000 UGH
5. Start each morning with stretches, crunches and pushups  TOTALLY FORGOT THIS ONE

Personal Growth and Peaceful Living:

1. I will meditate 5 mins a day for my peace of mind  NOT DOING
2. I will get a massage table so I can start practicing reiki and get my 20 hours I need to finish level 2.   I DID GET THE TABLE BUT NEVER STARTED PRACTICING
3. I will continue to connect with my spiritiual side by reading, retreat or classes.  DOING THIS

Family and House Goals:

1. I will work on creating and sticking with chores for the girls to help out more around the house.  STILL WORKING ON
2. I will teach the girls the importance of goal setting  - I HAVE
3. I will create an oasis in our bedroom.  – I START TO THEN IT SLIDES

Financial Goals:

1. Get a plan to pay down debt  - WORKING ON
2. Pay more with cash  - LOVE MORE COMPANIES USING PAYPAL SO THIS IS HELPING

Social, Fun and Recreational Goals:

1. I will take time to have lunch/dinner with friends more often.  - SORTA
2. I will make more time to Geocache and hike with the family and friends.  - UGH
3. I will learn how to do a mosaic art piece.  – STARTED THIS
4. Take more pictures of everyday life.  2010 I did not take enough pictures of everyday life.   - SORTA
5. I will either use my current blog or create a new blog and blog about  every day life, my weight loss journey or whatever floats my boat, who cares if I’m not the best writer or best speller in the world.  Maybe I’ll start it off by posting my 2011 goals  - HMMMM SORTA.. BETTER POST THIS ON MY BLOG TOO
6. I will read more books for enjoyment.  – I AM
7. I will have a picnic lunch at the beach with the family  - DID THIS WITH THE GIRLS NOT FAMILY
8. I will make a list of 100 things that make me laugh  - NEVER DID THIS
9. As a family we will explore the northeast corner of CT  - HAVE NOT DONE LACK OF MONEY AND TIME
10. As a family we will take a day trip to NYC  - HAVE NOT
11. 365 project – I will take a daily picture to document 2011 it will be of my kids, animals, hubby, outdoors basically anything and I will blog about it.  – STARTED THIS BUT HAVE NOT STUCK WITH IT
12. Decide on a few museums to visit.  – NEVER DID THIS EITHER UGH.  

Just thinking.....

Over the past few days i've been thinking about my weight.  Why I just can't let go of it.  I do really well i had lost almost 30 lbs and i've gained back about 20 lbs.  I hired a trainer and was working really good with him i could feel myself getting stronger yet nothing was releasing and I was working on my own really hard too.  Then I crashed (that's what i call it when i get in some weird funk and just can't move or have energy).  I have no idea what causes or how i can prevent it..  I'm in a funk right now.  I don't know how to get out of it.  seems this whole summer i was in a funk.

I eat right, and I pretty darn healthy with my food choices.  In a busy life eating out is inevitable so I try to make really good decisions not to ruin what i have done.  But somehow it's creeping back up.

I'm wondering if I should try gluten free or limiting it a good bit.  I've done it before but weight did not release then either.  So I'm not sure what i should do.  Low carb didn't work, WW didn't work (that made me even worse).. I hate anything complicated, eating shouldn't be complicated.

Something a friend said to me the other day about pain and that issues we have suppressed can come back in the form of body pain.  I wonder if the same can be for weight issues.  Anything i guess can be possible.  But how to find out what issues i'm suppressing now that is the million $$ question.  I've also been told that when you are trying to protect yourself from things you put on the pounds.. again if this is the case what is it.

I just don't know which direction to go in now.  Right now i just want that magic pill to give me energy to just move.

Irene is almost here

We are now without power went out about 6am and the worst is yet to come.  Guess she will make landfall around 10am.  Couple more hours to go.
The pic is of my view not to many branches down or leaves just a river flowing down my street.

Preparing for Irene

We have been busy preparing for Hurricane Irene arrival sometime tonight into tomorrow.  She is to make landfall somewhere around New Haven (at least that is the last I heard last night).. We have gotten the yard picked up, we just have to tie down the table and grill and i think the pool shed.  I have prepared some foods that we can eat if we lose power.  I need to do some more cooking and preparing today so we have a little more.

If sears gets their order in today we will be picking up our generator, they are trying to get an emergency order in and we placed an order for one.  I'm making sure we have enough frozen water bottles to help keep the freezer cold just in case we don't get the generator.  We have part of our 1/6 of a cow in there along with a lot of other meat.

Connecticut doesn't get many hurricanes, from my understanding they get a good one about every 20 years or so and well we are do.  I believe the last one was in '85 and her name was Gloria.  I was not living on the East coast during that one.  I was in IN, we only had to worry about blizzards and tornados.  :)

Testing out blogger on my phone

I decided to download bloggers app to my cell phone to see if it would work for me.  Sometimes when i'm out I think of something to blog but later I either forget or don't have time to blog. 

testing blog

testing

Snow Armageddon 2011

This is the snow after storm #7.  Yesterday before it started snowing we had 44.1" in hartford, CT.  We are now in upper 50" from the snow we had overnight.

This is of my puppy going out to potty.. she stays close to the house now because she can't even get in the yard.